Self-compassion exercise #3

By now hopefully you have tried self-compassion exercise #1 and self-compassion exercise #2. If so, now is a great time to reflect on those experiences. What was it like showing yourself compassion? How did it make you feel? What emotions did it elicit? Below is a writing exercise for our third self-compassion activity.

Firstly, we all have insecurities. It is human nature to have something that we don’t like about ourselves or leads us to feel like we are not good enough. Take some time to reflect on, and write down your own imperfections or the things that make you feel inadequate.

What emotions come up for you whilst thinking about this aspect of yourself? Try to feel those emotions, do not place judgements on them just allow them to be – and feel them. Write about them.

Now, put yourself in the place of someone else, or an imaginary friend. Take yourself out of your body. Imagine that this new person is unconditionally loving, accepting, kind and compassionate. They can see all your weaknesses and insecurities – including what you’ve written about above. Reflect on how this person is feeling towards you. They understand why it is you feel the way that you do, they are aware of the sequence of events that have lead you to where you are today. They do not judge you for this and accept you for who you are.

Write a letter to yourself from the perspective of this imaginary friend or loved one, specifically focusing on the inadequacies and insecurities that you judge yourself for. What would this friend say to you? How would this person convey what they feel for you? As you write your letter, ensure that you emphasise kindness and acceptance.

After writing the letter, put it down for a while. Then come back to it and really pay attention to the words and let them sink in. Allow the compassion to soothe you. You can find all the love and compassion you need within you.

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